


Name

by triformis



Series: Immovable Centre (Ai Shepard) [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Kai's POV, it's my otp, timesweep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triformis/pseuds/triformis
Summary: The flight back to Earth is slowly killing one desperate Sentinel.





	Name

A/N: I planned to post this for Shep’s birthday but couldn’t find the time with work being hectic. Not edited or beta. 

Kaidan had her name tucked away safely under her pillow, right hand tightly holding onto it like it grounded him somehow, as she always did. He curled his body towards her side of the bed as he inhaled the fading scent of her from her pillow. A month had taken to start their FTL flight back to Earth because of the damage to the drive core and with his sanity tethering on a thread he could only find rest in her smell. He nearly had a breakdown the first week when he sensed his own scent on her side of the bed, after sleeping on her side of the bed and he immediately began taking showers with unscented products to correct that mistake. 

He also avoided Dr Chakwas like the plague, especially when she got that defeatist look in her eyes which seemed like pity towards him. None of them could understand, especially after he refused to add her name to the commemorative wall, they all looked at him with pitying eyes but he was not grieving, as one wouldn’t grieve for someone alive. He missed her, with every cell of his being. She was his air, his heart, his whole life, more important than anything in the Galaxy.  
He smiled thinking back to when he first felt love as a young man, that love was innocent but it shaped him, changed him it made him more controlled, still he cherished those moments, even the bitter end. But he realised he knew very little about being in love until he was captured by her, until his thoughts and wishes revolved around her, just then he realised his foolishness.  
Her brand on him, although 3 years old was still fresh in his mind and he carried it proudly, her name burned on his heart, it was that moment that sealed it for him, a moment when he felt more ecstatic and more terrified than ever before.

x

Her breath laboured along with his as he pulled her towards him, her body settling gently on his heaving chest her skin heated and moist with sweat and he relished in the feel of her against himself as they made contact. His hands roamed her back and she sighed at the feeling placing her head on his shoulder. She made a move to get off of him but he set his hands firmly on the thighs that gripped his sides and held, her in place above him and most importantly, himself inside her. He could feel the tell-tale signs of his biotics prickling at his skin and he knew he had to release a charge, if they lost contact she could get hurt and he didn’t want anything to interrupt this time together, himself included. 

She sighed as he moved his hands expertly, kneading the muscles on her legs then moving them past her bottom and up on her sides and back, helping her become relaxed and blissful, and he knew it too because she started to hum in his skin. She brushed her nose against his cheek and placed a kiss on his pulse then he felt her smile on the spot as she moved her hands gently through his hair, massaging his temples with her thumbs then she placed a kiss to his temple. When she moved to grace his other side with a kiss rolling her hips and sweeping her breasts against his chest he was ready for her. Gentile hands moved down from his hair and he couldn’t suppress a sigh of disappointment. She smiled again in his skin and kissed his lips holding his jaw and playfully nipped at his throat then she lifted her torso with the grace of a goddess. He held back a moan when she placed both hands on her hair pulled tight in a bun and released it letting it cascade down her shoulders, covering her breasts and reaching to her middle, green eyes roaming over his face as he took hold of a lock and kissed it reverently. 

He knew he was slack jawed at the creature on top of him, there was nothing more beautiful in the Universe, this warrior, survivor, pillar of strength and emerald eyed goddess was is his arms and he felt dizzy. She looked at him with adoring eyes and he knew he had never made a better choice in all his life, by loving her. Breaking regulations was unthinkable to him, until she stepped onto the ship, looked at him and gave him her attention. And then without realising when or how, he was fascinated. 

A shadow crossed her face and something akin to a pout set on her lips as she watched him reminisce, Kaidan smiled then berated himself mentally, ‘Commander Shepard does not pout’, she punches and shouts and bends peoples’ wills to her own and generally makes everyone love and follow her because she is unique and unbelievable.  
She is energy and drive, focus and determination, a relentless tsunami in human form. For him she is danger and bliss, and he is weak to that flicker in her eyes when she sees the solution nobody else can, that light always make his body warm up. Kaidan knew a blush was threatening to creep up his face, as her attention always managed to conjure and he moved to distract her, caressing her sides and abdomen then gently cupping her breasts. She showed him her usual confident smirk and he instinctively moved his hips, feeling himself grow inside her. Pink lips opened and she moaned his name then lowered herself to reach his lips but instead of the sweet kiss he anticipated she slipped her tongue into his mouth and tasted him with her entire being, with a voraciousness he had never experienced. She pressed one hand on his chest above his heart and the other tilted his head to the side as she changed the angle and he nearly felt her tongue in his throat as she tasted him, over and over and he forgot to breathe, his chest tightening because of the air he was holding. She must have noticed his distress, as she always did, and moved her mouth to his jaw once again. He couldn’t help himself any longer to allow her to seduce him and he flipped them over, pinning her to the bed with his body, she smiled up at him, green eyes flashing brightly and he nearly blurted his love to her, a cold shiver running up his spine.  
Never one to wait for things to happen, she placed her legs around him and locked them on his back, making him sink deeper in her velvet heat, he lowered his lips to kiss her as he began to move, giving her his love, heart and soul.  
Hours later while drifting to sleep with her locked tightly in his arms he felt another kiss right above his heart and he thought of telling her what he had known for months but was lost for words when she pressed her hand on the spot she had marked then whispered in the silence of the room, as quiet as a dream.

“…nally mine.”

He convinced himself he had dreamed her possessive tone and then there was no time as they rushed to Ilos minutes after waking up. He should have said something that morning but he controlled himself and sent her to Joker. She smiled at him and shook her head as if indulging a child then made her way out of the cabin with an amused chuckle. He watched the door close behind her and let himself fall back on her bed, unable to resist stealing one last moment. The instant his head hit the pillow her intoxicating vanilla scent invaded his nostrils and he moaned feeling his body react.  
He left that heaven and weeks later lost her.

X

A sob escaped his throat as his treacherous mind brought back the years without her and tears stung his eyes, he bit his lip fighting the desperation burning in his blood.  
Blood. There must have been a lot of his covering her on Mars, he thought he had imagined the fear in her voice before he blacked out but after her visits in the hospital he allowed himself to hope that someday could be their day.  
But then he had her at gunpoint, an image straight from his nightmares. He would have lowered the gun the instant she showed up but he had the council to protect and Udina wouldn’t shut up!

Shepard who never lost her head during a fight, even against him, had motioned for both Liara and Garrus to lower their weapons and talked sense into his clouded mind. He then, like many other of her opponents, got a taste of her crystal clear reasoning and finally made the right choice and killed the traitor, but in reality he should have known better. When had she ever been wrong or failed a promise.

After helping those ex-Cerberus scientists escape the madness The Illusive Man had spread inside his own organisation he was certain of her. She was still the same unwavering woman forging ahead, helping races that saw their worlds destroyed to find hope and they followed, lending their last resources for her fight, trusting her with their future and he had to know. If he was still hers. If she’d still have him, for as long as she wanted. 

A message delivered to his omnitool had him unwrap his fingers from her N7 hoodie and reluctantly open his eyes to read “We’re 10 minutes from landing, Major” and he was out of bed an into the shower in two strides. 

X

The airlock door opened and the first person to step towards him was Admiral Hackett, his face unreadable. Kaidan bore his sight into the man’s blue eyes but couldn’t read anything in the steady look. He saluted the Admiral his heart hammering so violently in his chest he felt the pulse in his throat.  
Hackett returned the salute to the Major then moved closer to him to shake his hand, cataloguing the emotions swirling in brown eyes, fear and desperation fought in equal measures, the proof of it he could distinguish in Kaidan’s wrist as they locked hands. This man hadn’t given up, he was only barely containing his instinct to rush past and begin searching and he admired that restraint. No such thing could be said of the pilot though as he voiced the question he could read in all their eyes, from human to alien. 

“Where…” Joker’s voice broke for a moment then he cleared his throat and tried again “where is the Commander?” with fists tightly clenched. 

Hackett turned his attention towards the best helmsman in the Galaxy while the Major stepped back and stared somewhere at the walls behind him. As he was preparing to deliver his response his combat sense picked up movement on his 6, a chill riding up his spine. Decades of training kicking in, he grabbed his concealed side weapon moving towards the chill he perceived only to be looking at the dumbfounded expressions of the rest of the officials aligned behind him, all present to honour the Normandy crew. Said crew though, instantly reacting to his movement, had already prepared their own weapons.

Kaidan’s heart continued hammering in his chest, the intensity growing tenfold as soon as the Admiral changed his position to speak to Joker, he himself should have paid attention to the reply, his mind constantly screaming that question at him for the last month but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the corridor behind the Admiral. The other people gathered to greet them had changed positions when Hackett moved and there was a clear view of the space ahead. The Major swallowed hard when Hackett reacted by drawing his weapon, and he sensed the team prepare for a fight, pride blooming in his chest. He himself though was rooted to the spot and unable to move, his breath erratic and all senses hyperaware then a force enveloped him and he smelled his dreams before they materialised against his heart. He inhaled that scent greedily and closed his arms around the woman he adored pulling her against his body lost to the world. 

He heard her gasp and felt her entire weight on him, his heart sinking, a high pitched shout ringing at the edges of his uncomprehending mind. The next moment Shepard was being pulled out of his arms and he lost control completely unleashing his barrier around the both of them and prepared to fight to his last breath for her. He didn’t have to, as a black haired woman he recognised from Shepard’s party, stomped past the dignitaries nearly body checked the Admiral and glared at him.

Miranda was fuming, she had noticed the Commander’s disappearance too late and now the wounds on her shoulder, back and legs were aggravated, she could was certain.  
“Idiots, the both of you, I swear” she gritted then sighed noticing the man hold Shepard tighter, his barrier intensifying and she damn nearly biotic-punched him. The man was so out of it that he hadn’t noticed Shepard unconscious in his arms. When he looked down at the body cradled in his hold and removed the hood off her head brushing ebony strands away from her face his eyes widened in horror at the blood he smeared on her tender skin. He stared at the liquid staining his hand and felt his knees tremble as he called her name in a desperate voice tears spilling from his eyes. 

Reacting first to the scene before him Hackett realised it was up to him minimise the exposure the couple before him got so he turned to the people behind him and ordered them all to clear the area, it took for him to repeat the order before anyone reacted. They all moved out of the airlock and made way for the army of medics to filter through towards the hero of the Galaxy. Immediately taking charge of the Commander Miranda Lawson issuing orders and directions at a million miles an hour as they carried Shepard and her protector away.


End file.
